Ben

The Pain

I never slashed my wrists.
I never OD'd on drugs.
I didn't try to hang myself.
Or fill my head with lead slugs.

But I have my scars they're hidden, you can look but you can't see.
The person I despise the most is actually me.
My weakness irritates me, it cuts me to the core.
I find I just can't stand myself, life is such a chore.

As I said my scars are not physical, you can look but do not see.
But believe me when I tell you the one in pain is me.
I've hurt myself more, than I've hurt anyone I know.
I've dealt myself many, a cruel and savage blow.

But all my pain is mental, all my scars inside.
And although my pain is hidden, from it I cannot hide.
For although my pain is mine, and I own it all myself.
I can't put it to the side, and leave it on the shelf.

For sure as the sun rises, and the sun also sets.
My pain is like an elephant, it never does forget.
My anguish is devouring me, but I can take it back.
For if I turn it all around I put the pain back on the rack.

For although the pain sometimes owns me, and I can't see my way out.
The opposite is also true and this can make me shout.
"Freedom is mine if I choose it to be".
For the one who controls my pain is only ever me.